In honour of International Women’s Day 2025, I am reflecting on a question I am often asked.
I have a very young daughter who not only graduated law school with me but also conquered the bar exams and is now an honourary articling student with the 2024/2025 cohort. The question I frequently get is: How did you manage it all without delaying any part of the journey?
There was no special formula to doing this – like any difficult thing in life, having a strong support system can be the difference between reaching the finish line and burning out by the midpoint.
I knew, going into motherhood, just like going into law school, that it would not be without its challenges. What I also knew— perhaps more importantly— is that I could succeed because I had my determination, and the support of those around me. If it’s something you truly want, it can be something you achieve. For me, it was a simple equation of input for output. The input was both my own internal motivation, as well as the external support and encouragement I received from loved ones.
What is not simple, however, is the impact parenthood can have on a person’s sense of self, work ethic and time management. These were the changes (and sometimes challenges) I was not expecting. When a child, with countless needs and very few ways of communicating those needs (like “milk” and “I can’t sleep, so I’m going to scream”), comes into your world, it forces you to confront what really matters. In my case, this shift in priorities reshaped my worldview for the better. The cost of “wasting time” skyrocketed because there was now so little of it to spare, and I had no choice but to become far more efficient with my time. Motherhood has been a great lesson in work ethic and time management.
Whatever the difficult thing you intend to accomplish is, it’s crucial to know your why as it will become your how. Then, figure out who it is you have there to remind you of all you’re capable of. We each have our natural levels of resilience, but it is our support system that can multiple that for us.
For myself, I had my husband, to whom I owe more gratitude than words can express, for the many difficult things I have accomplished with his support. I also had my mother and sisters, who were there to uplift my motherhood journey with their own expertise and wisdom. In Middle Eastern culture, the first 40 days of postpartum are seen as a critical time for a new mother and child to rest, and during this time they are surrounded by support from the women in their family. Having experienced it firsthand, it makes all the difference.
If you’re fortunate enough to have a strong support system, especially one filled with strong women, there is very little you cannot accomplish. Whatever your difficult thing might be, never be too proud to lean into your support system when things get heavy. And for those allies reading this, take a moment to consider how you can better support the woman in your life doing all the difficult things she makes look easy.